I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
