Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
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