So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
