is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
