Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
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