Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
