so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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