Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
