And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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