is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
