Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
