yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
