The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
