real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
