She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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