I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
