My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
she smelled like a LAN party
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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