it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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