when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize