my phone needs a breathalizer
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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