Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
