Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Randomize
