i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize