there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
