I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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