In the future we'll all be gay
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
