At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
