Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
