He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
