You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
