You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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