Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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