In the future we'll all be gay
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Randomize
