Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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