At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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