she woke up with a sticky ear
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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