the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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