How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
