and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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