I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
