Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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