if i can run in heels then i can drive
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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