I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
