It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
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