There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
