i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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