he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
she told me i tasted like america
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
