i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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