this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
