The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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