There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
A bitchslap is in order.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
