I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize