i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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