i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
