omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
