Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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