He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
