I feel like I'm in dance class right now
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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